Akatsuki Cup! Golden! The Random Arc!
by Akatsuki Golden
Summary: Random episodes of the Akatsuki!
1. Introduction

1

Welcome To Akatsuki Cup!!! Golden!!!

The Akatsuki Cup series is divided into 4 separate arcs. The first one is known as

the Random Arc. This arch will just be a bunch of random episodes about the Akatsuki. However it will slowly turn into an epic plot. The story is formatted as a script, I found it more comfortable. Also characters from other animes might appear. Well I hope you readers enjoy Akatsuki Cup, and if you guys do I'll update more episode and eventually the other 3 arcs.


	2. Episode 1: Painted Nails

1The Akatsuki were having a meeting on the tailed beasts however there meeting was interrupted by the topic nail polish.

Unnamed Member: Calm down please!

Akatsuki leader: We were suppose to have an important meeting not a nail painting convention!

Unnamed Member: I told you not to include painted purple nails as one of our uniform codes 

Akatsuki Member: Last time I remember you suggested it!

Unnamed Member: Me never 

Akatsuki Leader: Oh yes you did...dont give me that sad look!!!

Akatsuki Leader: Nope Im not falling for it

Akatsuki Leader: Ok I did!!!! I thought purple nails were todays latest fashion ok.

Unnamed Member:...wow you really suck at fashion then. All the other ninjas are wearing enlarge headbands its the new thing...can you buy me one please! 

(Akatsuki leader turns away)


	3. Episode 2: The Big Race

One day Itachi, Deidara, Sasori, and Kisame took the day off from work. The 4 ninjas decided to spend the day at the local bowling alley. They got in Itachi's blue hybrid and drove to the bowling alley while playing Elton John's Crocodile Rock.

Kisame: Dude this music rocks!

Itachi: I know!

Deidara: Dude Itachi I didnt know you drive hybrid.

Sasori: I always taught he rode those fancy sport cars.

Itachi: Well I choose a hybrid because it has great gas mileage.

The Akatsuki Members stopped at a red light...Until a red, white, and Blue Hummer coated with the words Bleach on the sides swung on the left lane next to the blue hybrid.

Ichigo: Hey guys look it's the Akatsuki fagots!

Itachi: Man I really hate this guy.

Rukia: Why don't you take little car back to your sissy leader.

Rukia and Ichigo started making out right in front of the 4 ninjas.

Deidara: You take back you said about our leader.

Chad and Ishida pop out of the passenger window.

Chad: Shut up you little punk or Ill shove clay up your ass.

Deidara fell silent

Ishida: Hey Sasori when bang girls does your dick break off!? Oh yeah you never banged a girl!

Chad: ooooooooooooooooooooooo

Ishida and Chad gave themselves high fives

Sasori: Get me out!!! Ill kill them!!!  
Itachi: Calm down Sasori.. Hey Ichigo lets have a race first one to the bowling alley wins.

Ichigo: ohhhhh Rukia huh oh yeah your on!

The traffic light switched green and the two vehicles zoomed forward.

Deidara: Come Itachi can this thing go faster!

Itachi: Its going 80 miles per hour.

Kisame: Look there's a ramp

Itachi: I going for the ramp! hang on!

Sasori: no no no no ahhhh!!!

The hybrid went so far out that it landed right in front of the hummer making the Akatsuki ninjas take the lead.

Sasori: Hell Yeah!

Sasori flicks off Ichigo

Ichigo: That red hair freak going down. Do it Ishida.

Ishida manages to get on top of the Hummer and pulled out his bow and starts firing, but misses the hybrid and instead hits a Shell Gasoline Station.

Kisame: Dude are they trying to kill us !?

Deidara: Allow me to take this guy out, I so happen to have clay with me.

Deidara made a mini exploding bird and throws it at Ishida.. Ishida falls off and blows up.

Deidara: ha ha ha ha fagot!

Rukia: You bastards!

Sasori: Its time to end this!

Sasori pulls out a bananna (He plays alot of Mario Kart) and throws it at the Hummer. The Hummer spun and land in a ditch.

Ichigo: beep beep beep beep beep and beeeep!!!!!!!

Itachi: Yay we won!

Deidara: Those amateurs didn't stand a chance!

Sasori: We should turn around and finish up those assholes!

Kisame: No need I want to bowl!

All of them: Yay!!!!!!!!!

So that ends an episode of Akatsuki Cup! Golden!


	4. Episode 3: Tobi's Love

1The story starts out in the Akatsuki headquaters where Itachi, Hidan, Zetsu, and Deidara are playing poker.

Itachi: Flush

Deidara: Crap!!! that was my last 50

Zetsu:...

Hidan: I think your cheating Itachi, you know using them eyes of yours!

Itachi: Come on guys I won fair and square.

Hidan: Cheater!!! I know you are!

Hidan threw his chair and jumped Itachi.

Deidara: Zetsu! We need to break them up before leader hears this loud noise. (Right now its 5:00 PM and during this time its the Akatsuki leaders nap time)

Zetsu:...

Deidara: Dammit Zetsu get off your damn chair.

Itachi: ow ow ow stop that! My head!

Hidan: What now Itachi!

Itachi punches Hidan up in the air and lands on the poker table snapping it in two.

Hidan: You bastard!

Hidan takes out his homemade blinding powder and throws it at Itachi...however Itachi is too quick and dodges it. At the same time Tobi came right behind Itachi and gets hit by the powder.

Tobi: AHHH! fuck! AHHH! My eye! What did you do to my eye!

Tobi falls on the ground rolling, Itachi quicky gets Tobi to a couch.

Itachi: what happened

Tobi: I cant see! Crap! What was that?!

Hidan: um blinding powder.

Tobi: Blinding powder! This is not good I have a date!

They fell silent

Deidara: I didnt know your going out with a girl!

Hidan: Yay Tobi! So what her name? Where she from?

Itachi: What is her career!  
Zetsu:...is she rich?

Tobi: Guys Guys! Enough with all the questions! Im blind I cant see, and this is the first time I get to see her!

Deidara: Ill let you barrow my dog Lee, he is trained to help blind people ( Deidara actually stole the dog)

Itachi: so its settled Tobi will use Lee to get through the first date.

Tobi: Alright we were suppose to met at the Neon Rose restaurant at 9:00 P.M.

Itachi: Awesome we have plenty of time. To the Toyota Hybrid!!!

Itachi drove Tobi to his destination safely.

Itachi: That blind powder should last for about 15 or more minutes. Have fun

Tobi: Yay Ill try

Tobi was guided by his dog

Tobi: Damn I still cant see! Um sir I have a reservation.

Host: A yes this way sir.

Tobi: Lee fallow him!

Tobi is guided by Lee but hits a few tables.

Host: Your chair sir.

Tobi: thank you

Susan: Oh you must be Tobi!

Tobi: Hey Susan Im not late am I?

Susan: Not at all...um Tobi your face is a little puffy.

Tobi: Um allergies nothing to worry about.

Host: For you sir.

Tobi: um Ill have the New York strip.

Host: medium rare or well done?

Tobi: Well done.

Host: and you.

Susan: Ill have a salad.

Host: your orders will be in shortly.

Tobi: So Susan this the first time we meet.  
Susan: I know isn't grand. You were so Romantic on E Harmony ( an actually website for dating).

Susan: Those poems you emailed me were so lovely.

Tobi: You liked it, my roomates always make fun of me because of that.

Susan: Well they should not make fun of you for that I mean that is how I feel in love with you.

Tobi is struck with a love daze. (Still blind)

Tobi: Susan I love you

Susan kiss me

The two couples were closing in until Tobi vision was starting to clear up.

smoch!!!

Tobi opened his eyes

It appeared that Susan had a beard, a lot of zits, bad crooked teeth, and demon like eyes...she looked liked a fat ugly guy.

Tobi: ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tobi dashed out the door and ran for his life

Back at the Akatsuki headquaters

Deidara: King me!

Hidan: There is no King me in poker (they glued the poker table)

Zetsu:...

Tobi: huf huf huf

Itachi: so how was the date?

Tobi: I dont want to talk about it.

That end todays episode of Akatsuki Cup!!! Golden!!!


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